Domestic violence awareness & support information

Domestic and family violence is a pattern of coercive and controlling behaviour in which a partner, family member or carer governs or decides how another person should behave or think. This kind of behaviour may include:

Fear as a means of control created through any behaviour used to intimidate and take away your power

Social control includes criticism, jokes at your expense or put downs in front of family, friends, work friends etc., or controlling where you go or who you see

Sexual violence includes any unwanted sexual interaction. This may include forced sexual acts, harassment or sexual harm

Emotional or psychological control includes behaviour, actions or comments that undermine your sense of self and destroy your self-esteem and self-belief

Intimidation includes breaking your possessions, intimidating body language, hostile and aggressive questioning, constant calls, emails, text messages and stalking

Physical violence causing harm to you, your children, your property, family, friends and pets. It may also involve the threat of weapons.

Violence against pets includes threatening violence to your pet.

Financial control occurs when the abuser takes control over your financial resources. This may include not allowing you to work or controlling the money you earn and spend.

Spiritual practice control incudes ridiculing your spiritual beliefs and or excluding you from taking part in in cultural or spiritual activities

Reproductive abuse includes forcing you to fall pregnant, to terminate a pregnancy or to use or not use birth control.

Abuse in LGBTIQA+ relationships can involve unique tactics of abuse, including identity-based abuse such as threating to ‘out’ you to others where you have chosen not to come out or feel it is unsafe to do so.

Technology facilitated abuse involves using technology to send you abusive messages, repeatedly calling you and making threatening phone calls, creating fake social media accounts and/ or hurtful posts about you, locking you out of your online accounts, sharing or threatening to share images and videos of you without your permission, tracking you or hiding cameras to film you.

Strangulation or suffocation is a serious crime. This is an indicator that violence is escalating and is the most lethal form of domestic violence. If this has happened to you, tell someone eg: a support worker, the police, and seek medical attention as soon as possible.

[Reference: Charmed and Dangerous, 2020. Published by Legal Aid NSW Women’s Domestic Violence Court Advocacy Service].

• Power and control

• Equality

• The effects of domestic violence on children

You do not deserve to be abused. You did not ask for it. You are not alone.

1. If you, or someone you love is in immediate danger, call 000
2. If you, or someone you love suspects something is not quite right but needs help to talk, get information and understand risks and plan for safety, call the national domestic, family and sexual violence counselling, information and support service 1800RESPECT
3. If you need legal advice call LawAccess or the Womens Domestic Violence Court Advocacy Service
4. If you need emergency accommodation or assistance accessing supports NSW Domestic Violence Line 1800 65 64 63
5. If you need an interpreter, contact the Telephone Interpreter Service (TIS) 131 450
6. If you have a hearing or speech impairment, contact 106 Text Emergency Relay Service - dial 106
7. Child Protection Helpline 132 111

More contacts can be found here

[Reference: Bondi Beach Cottage Women’s Counselling Manual].

There is help in the Waverley local area. Our specialist DFV services are:

• Bondi Beach Cottage 9365 1607
  Counselling and case management for women and children subjected to domestic and family violence, generalist counselling, information and referral to specialist supports. Free child care may be available.
• Deli Women & Children’s Centre 9667 4664
  Domestic violence counselling, generalist counselling, case work, parenting advice and support, playgroups, information and referral, workshops and education.
• Jewish Care1300 133 660
  Assists adults and children through specialist casework, counselling, crisis support, safety planning and support for de-escalating conflict and behaviour change to empower clients to foster healthier and respectful relationships.
• Lokahi Foundation 0451 800 562
  Empowering female victim-survivors of domestic and family abuse through the provision of on-the-ground specialised advice and support, including ongoing case management helping them to regain their independence and freedom - physically, emotionally, practically, and financially.
• Staying Home Leaving Violence 0439 414 673
  Program works in cooperation with police to remove the violent partner
• Sexual Assault Counselling Service(RPA Hospital)  9515 9040
• Domestic violence liaison - each Police Area Command has Domestic Violence Liaison Officers (DVLO) who are specially trained to deal with domestic and family violence and child protection. Ask to speak with the DVLO if your concern is not an emergency.

• Information for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander women
• Information for individuals from the LGBTIQA+ community
• Information for women on visas
• Ageing and disability abuse helpline

The International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women on November 25 launches 16 Days of Activism that conclude on December 10, International Human Rights Day.

Domestic and family violence is preventable. Ending domestic, family and intimate partner violence starts with respectful and equal relationships.

In 2020 and 2021 the We’re Better Than That Campaign produced a series of videos promoting respect, healthy relationships and to encourage men to be active bystanders when they witness behaviour that condones and contributes to violence in the community.

Targeting domestic and family violence, the videos were funded by the Central and Eastern Sydney Primary Health Network and created in partnership with Randwick, Waverley, Woollahra and Bayside Councils and the Hope Believe Shine Foundation.

Bondi Rescue’s Bruce ‘Hoppo’ Hopkins and several other well-known Sydney influencers have lent their voices to the campaign.

“It’s up to all of us to look out for disrespectful behaviour towards women” Hoppo says, against the backdrop of Sydney’s Bondi Beach. “Most beaches have lifeguards on patrol. Now it’s your turn to be a lifesaver and help prevent domestic violence.”

Cricket legend Mike Whitney, chef Colin Fassnidge, actor Luke Carroll and community leader Rishi Acharya also feature in the series.

“I think it’s important for people like me who’ve got a voice to talk about these issues,” Mike Whitney explains, “and say to men that there’s a lot of other ways that you can deal with your relationship instead of being violent”.

A second video series was launched during the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras in 2021 with Drag Race Downunder contestant Maxi Shield and featured actor Bill Conn, paralympic swimmer and Order of Australia recipient Matt Levy, and actor Benny Turland from Neighbours.

The videos are available to view on the official We're Better Than That - YouTube page.

Our Watch is a national leader in Australia for the primary prevention of violence against women and their children.

Further information

• What drives gender-based violence and how we can create social change
• Gender-based  violence - how we can Change the Story
• Bystander behaviour and how to speak up when you see women being disrespected